beverly-hills-cop-movie-still-1984-axel-foley-eddie-murphyIn this gritty crime drama, Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is a hard boiled, hard drinking cop, working in the corrupt shithole that is the Detroit metro area. When his partner gets whacked off by a high-profile drug kingpin from Beverly Hills (Gary Busey), Foley’s commanding officer refuses to investigate the case any further, and tells him to drop it. But Eddie Murphy, he ain’t gonna just drop it. Murphy slams his badge and gun down on that captain’s desk, and yells “I quit, motherfucker”, and he goes off on his own to fuck the guys responsible.

600px-BeverlyIngram5There’s this super emotional scene with the partner’s widow, where Murphy promises he’ll “bust these guys’ asses, no matter what” to her. It’s really hard not to get all teared up here. If you’re a girl, that is. Or a gay. Or both. If not, you should be fine though.

jenny-summersMurphy jets over to Beverly Hills, and even though it’s all pristine and warm and palm trees fucking each other, it’s got this seedy underbelly going on that’s as bad as Detroit. The cops are all corrupt out here too, and nobody gives a shit about Foley’s dead partner, they just want him to stop asking so many damn questions. Except these two detectives (Judge Reinhold and Dennis Franz) who won’t play ball or take bribes like the other guys in their department. They’re total outcasts because of it, but since they’re not snitches, they get left alone and don’t take a fucking shot in the ass or anything.

BDDefinitionBeverlyHillsCop-5-1080There’s this one part where a tubby, bearded cop is trying to get them to take some money he stole from a falafel stand, he’s all “You sure you don’t want a taste? Would make us all feel a lot better if you took one.” and one of the good cops, Reinhold, comes back with “A taste of what? Falafel? No thanks, I’m allergic to spicy foods.” And, when he hears that shit, the fat beardo guy looks at him all suspicious and squinty eyed, like he’s trying to figure out if Reinhold’s fucking with him, or if he’s gone full-blown retard or something. But that’s the kind of guys these two cops are, you can’t tell where they’re coming from, their characters are just so layered and complex.

Beverly_Hills_Cop_II_8colFoley joins up with these two good, tough cops, and they get deep into Cartel territory. See, the drug lords are smuggling heroin into the country through the local Art Galleries, and they’re using this Balki looking dude as their mule. Well, Axel braces him, and even Reinhold and Franz get a little uncomfortable about Murphy’s methods here, he’s beating Balki off for hours until the guy finally just unloads on all of them. It’s an intense, messy scene. But, in the end, a sweaty, crying Balki spews up all the info they need to waste Gary Busey, permanently. Also, turns out Balki was forced to smuggle drugs across the border in his asshole, so they all feel kinda bad for him now. Even though he quietly mumbles something like “I didn’t mind that part so much..” They just ignore that shit.

Bronson_Pinchot_coverAfter that, Foley sabotages Reinhold and Franz’s car, with this badass maneuver he learned in Detroit. See, he doesn’t want his new buddies getting killed cause of his own personal revenge mission, so he tries to take them out of the picture by sticking a banana in their tail pipe. It’s some serious street shit here, never seen anything like it before.

tumblr_mb5l9ntydi1qjotexo1_1280There’s this massive shootout in the end, The fucking cinematography is so amazing in this part, it’s all slow motion and bullets flying by and everyone gets hit. Even Balki, which is really sad cause the guy was just a patsy, and he deserved better than a 12 gauge to the dick. But that’s what Gary Busey gives him. It’s a real bitch to watch, and it makes you hate Busey so much more.

beverlyhillscopWhen the dust settles, and Foley’s all shot up, Gary Busey is standing over him with a shotgun and says “where you want it, Murphy? In the head, or in the gut?” And Foley’s just smiling at him, and he goes “how about in your motherfuckin balls, motherfucker?” Cause Reinhold took a cab over to the shootout, and got there just in time to sneak up behind Busey, and blow that flabby bastard’s package right off with an assault rifle. It’s gruesome as fuck too, they show everything in slow mo, Busey’s batch explodes all over the wall. Then, Foley, Reinhold and Franz all line up and fill that jackoff full of lead.

3573631988_dd315bf2f4Foley and the gang bring down the corrupt cops in Detroit and Beverly Hills after that, and in the end, Reinhold is like “what’re you gonna do now, Foley?” and Murphy slaps him on the back, and he’s all “I think I’m gonna hang with Nick Nolte for a drink, motherfuckers.” And Reinhold and Franz kind of look at each other like “oh, shit” cause they know that can’t end well..

beverly-hills-cop6 Bullets: Beverly Hills Cop made me yell “fuck yeah!” in the theatre so many times, the usher asked me to leave before the end of the film. So I watched the rest of it on a bootleg I bought off a Mexican that very same night, that’s how sweet this thing was. Even though it was dubbed in Spanish, I still got the gist of it. Comprende, motherfucker?

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