Category Archives: sci-fi

THE RUNNING MAN (1987)

STARRING:
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, MARIA CONCHITA ALONSO

KILL METER: 3/6
The-Running-Man1

It’s the future, and Arnold’s an ex-cop framed for murder. He’s got two choices – go to prison, or be a contestant on some bullshit game show called The Running Man, where people run.. for their lives! It’s like American Gladiators, except with really queer Gladiators that want to kill you. Arnold really stretches his [...]

Continue READING

BLADE (1998)

STARRING:
WESLEY SNIPES, KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, STEPHEN DORFF

KILL METER: 5/6
Vampire-Rave-Party-Scene-From-The-1998-Film-Blade

Blade’s a ghetto vampire. But he’s really not that into it, cause I guess all vampires wanna do is take ecstasy, go to parties, and suck each other’s dicks all night, and Blade ain’t about that shit. He’s like “I still wanna be able to go to the Beach, not get in the water or [...]

Continue READING

DEMOLITION MAN (1993)

STARRING:
SYLVESTER STALLONE, WESLEY SNIPES AND SANDRA BULLOCK

KILL METER: 2/6
demolition-man

Syvlester Stallone chases a gay, blonde, Bell Biv Devoe looking Wesley Snipes into the far future, where Sly learns that being a tough guy cop just isn’t as easy as it was back in the 90′s. The future’s got all kinds of rules and stupid crap going on, like people shit in seashells and wipe [...]

Continue READING

THE CROW (1994)

STARRING:
BRANDON LEE, MICHAEL WINCOTT AND ERNIE HUDSON

KILL METER: 5/6
tumblr_inline_myls9m1ksl1sorbnf

In some shithole city, where it’s never, ever daytime ever, a righteous 4 man gang rides around and blows crap up and just does whatever the hell they want. They basically own the city. On a typical weekday evening, they’re swallowing bullets, putting cigars out on their tongues, chanting all kinds of crazy shit at [...]

Continue READING

ROBOCOP (1987)

STARRING:
PETER WELLER, NANCY ALLEN AND RONNY COX

KILL METER: 6/6
robocop-guns

Alex Murphy is a pretty good cop. Unfortunately, he gets shot the fuck up by a bunch of angry dads in the first 20 minutes of this movie. But it’s totally not a problem, because a big time company invests some money and puts him in a metal suit, with a helmet and a fucking [...]

Continue READING

PREDATOR (1987)

STARRING:
CARL WEATHERS, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND GARY BUSEY

KILL METER: 6/6
tumblr_mhwt95xxEv1qlkt4ho1_500

Carl Weathers travels to the Jungles of South America with a group of ex and future politicians, so they can kill as many people as possible with no threat of reprisals. While they’re down there, they run into a craaazy alien badass who wants to decorate his shitty tree house with their skulls. The alien [...]

Continue READING

TIME COP (1994)

STARRING:
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, MIA SARA AND RON SILVER

KILL METER: 5/6
timecop_1994_1

Jean-Claude Van Damme┬átravels through time to stop people from screwing around in the past. He’s a TIMEcop. He’s also miserable as hell, because a long TIME ago, his girlfriend Mia Sara got banged and killed by a couple of butt rocker dudes, and he just can’t get over it. Why the fuck he doesn’t just [...]

Continue READING

CYBORG (1989)

STARRING:
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, VINCENT KLYN

KILL METER: 4/6
cyborg_04_stor

It’s the future. You know it’s the future because everywhere you look is nothing but deserts, burned out buildings, never ending tire fires, and not a goddamn Starbuck in sight! Well, this guy and his girlfriend want to move away from all of that, maybe go to the beach or something, but in the future [...]

Continue READING