CYBORG (1989)

STARRING:
JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, VINCENT KLYN

KILL METER: 4/6

cyborg_01It’s the future. You know it’s the future because everywhere you look is nothing but deserts, burned out buildings, never ending tire fires, and not a goddamn Starbuck in sight! Well, this guy and his girlfriend want to move away from all of that, maybe go to the beach or something, but in the future travelings not as simple as it used to be. They have to walk across a whole lot of empty desert, shanty towns, and a bunch of other crappy places to get there.

Cy6Along the way, they piss off a gang led by a crazy-eyed black guy who is ripped as fuck. He chases them all over the desert, into abandoned apartment buildings, down sewer drains – he just will not let it go! His gang is even like “dude, can we just not do this shit anymore? Its eating into our hang out time, and I feel like I don’t even fucking know you anymore, cause all you ever talk about is catching up with this stupid asshole and his butt ugly GF and kicking his ass, and over what? Can you even remember what this guy did to begin with?” But the black guy just takes off his sunglasses and looks at them real hard with his insane eyes, and he’s like “you think I’m gonna let this go? Yeah, you’re right, you don’t know me at all anymore.” So, thats about it really, they all get killed by the guy they’re chasing and him and his beard of a GF walk off into the the sunset. The end.

Cyborgs-Pearl-ProphetThe moral: You have to let things go. Hanging with your friends, cracking jokes, drinking or whatever, that’s alright. Chasing some fucking dude all over the desert and watching him kill your buddies, cause he said some dumb crap that pissed you off a long, long time ago? That’s not what it’s all about.

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