TAKEN (2008)

STARRING:
LIAM NEESON, MAGGIE GRACE, FAMKE JANSSEN

KILL METER: 3/6

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Liam Neeson is an angry Dad who will stop at nothing to ruin his daughters Spring Break vacation in this coming of age thrill ride. Neeson’s daughter goes on a crazy Paris trip with some buddies, and she ends up getting wasted and partying with a pretty rough crowd. When she prank calls her Dad (Neeson) back in the US, he’s just fucking had it with her wild shit. He can tell she’s high as a kite, and she refuses to say who she’s hanging out with, so he knows she’s up to no good. He jets on over to France to find his stupid kid and possibly send her off to boarding school.

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Neeson locates one of the guys she was banging on this trip, and he seriously doesn’t mess around when it comes to his daughter. He electrocutes this guys balls! Yeah, it’s an overreaction, but the jackoff was bragging about how many times he screwed Neeson’s daughter and all, so he was kind of asking for it. Anyway, after a few charges to the nads, the dude spills the beans pretty quickly on what’s been going on here – while she was shitfaced out of her skull, the daughter actually got engaged to some fat, old, millionaire Sheik, and he wants to take her back with him to Prince of Persia land. Neeson’s not having that, the guys like twice her age! Plus, he’s a foreigner, and Neeson’s such an all-American Dad, he doesn’t want his kid running off with some wacko from a country whose name he can’t even pronounce.

taken_01So, he tracks this fat fuck down and exacts revenge on that blubbery piece of crap. Then, he’s like “I’m TAKEN my daughter, back to America!” He gets her on a plane to the US and sends her spoiled, bratty ass off to rehab. And a tiny little tear rolls down the Sheik’s flabby face, he thought he had something special with this girl, but turns out it didn’t really mean anything, she was just on Spring Break.

taken-2008-film-picture_422_19640Also, here’s some concepts for a TAKEN sequel I think would be awesome:

1. Neeson starts a delivery service, where he gets into a lot of trouble and has to kill a bunch of people while still making his deliveries. It’s called TAKE N’ OUT.

2. The flight back home is a huge disaster, when he finds out his reserved seats have already been occupied… by terrorists, in THIS SEAT IS TAKEN.

3. Neeson finds out his wife is cheating on him with the one man he can’t fight.. the President of the United States: TAKEN IT TO THE TOP.

4. He joins a street fighting clan in TAKKEN.

5. Neeson gets tough with a guy at a PTA who calls his daughter a whore in TAKEN OFFENSE.

6. Neeson keeps his family under lock and key, but he can’t stop a hurricane from snatching up his daughter in TAKEN BY STORM.

7. The whole family gets highjacked and held hostage on a bus that’s got bombs rigged to it in TAKEN FOR A RIDE  - opening soon.

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